Open the present and see what's inside

Today is David's sixth birthday, but we celebrated with a party for him last night. This year he was so excited for his birthday, and it shows us the remarkable progress that David has made since starting the Son-Rise program. Just last Christmas he showed no interest in opening presents or participating in family activities. On David's fourth birthday, when it came time for the birthday cake to be lit and the lights turned out, he was scared and ran from the room. He was brought back in after some calming down, and we sang to him, but there was no blowing out of candles, he remained fretful in Julie's arms with his head turned into her shoulder. So last night was celebrated with even more joy, because he chose to be with us.

Julie started out the party with games that had David's interests in mind. There were ten of us, each blowing up a balloon, without tying it off. We counted to three and then let go of them, and all of a sudden the air was filled with balloons whirling around David, and his eyes lit with wonder. We released balloons several times as he jumped with glee, and clapped his hands excitedly. Then we all gathered in a circle and held hands, and did ring-a-round the rosy with him. All the while he beamed and rolled his head from side to side.

One of David's many quotations is from Blues Clues .. present time, present time, open the present and see what's inside, so we all chanted this to him to encourage him to open his presents. While he wasn't totally interested in unwrapping gifts he did spend a little time playing with each of the toys.

Party hats had been passed out to everyone before the party and David amused us by adjusting every one's hat to his specifications. He wanted the hat to be sitting exactly in the middle, on the top of your head, with the elastic under your chin, and in front of your ears. Having just a small problem with claustrophobia I chose to put the elastic at the back of my head, which I got away with most of the night, until he discovered I had deviated from his set course. After that he would keep checking to see if I had it right. When I could no longer stand the elastic under my chin, I put it under my nose. He caught me the instant I did it and came over and said "Let me help you" and he proceed to help me get it 'right'. As soon as his attention was elsewhere, I totally ditched the hat. LOL

Christina had prepared a wonderful birthday cake for David with a fun Madagascar theme. When it came time for cake, he asked for the lights off, he waited for us to sing the traditional Happy Birthday and then he blew out his candles. Then we repeated the fun while singing Happy Birthday to you, You live in a zoo ...

After the celebration Ed and David had fun playing with a toy phone. The gist of the conversation was "ring, ring, ... hello, Oh hi Jessica ... see ya real soon" Then David would ask "Who was that Ed?" and Ed would say "That was Jessica" The same thing was repeated with different names. David was giving Ed his whole attention and using his name. All of the small steps that he makes really start to add up over time, and show us that he is steadily growing closer to being a part of our world, and less of his own.

Is that ....?

When David creates a sequence of "isms" he likes to have a name for it. For example on our first play room visit, when I looked at him through the play set and said "I see David", thereafter he called it "I see David". I'm not really sure why he does this, but I think it is a form of labelling, so that he can ask for a repeat of that particular play-time activity. Sometimes he will ask for a scenario to be played out that we don't know of, but most of the time when we come back to the play room he will ask us for something we have already done together. In the following video after reading Dr Seuss' One fish Two fish .. five or six times, he asked "Is that my feet stick out of bed all night?"

Kiss & make it better

While playing with David tonight, he started ism-ing with his plastic giraffe and he accidentally poked Ed in the face. David's immediate reaction was one of great concern that Ed was hurt. Ed asked him to kiss and make it better, and David leaned over and kissed his cheek. We both were excited that David had not only stopped in the middle of an ism but had shown a caring for someone else. We have seen David push down Hannah and not even be fazed by her crying afterwards, so it is a step in the right direction.

David & Goliath

When Ed entered the playroom tonight David went over to the slide and lay beneath it, then he mimicked Ed's impersonation of Mickey. I have come to believe this is David's way of saying hello.

We were playing ring around the rosy with David and having a lot of interaction and eye contact from him. Joseph heard us laughing and came to join us. For a little while David seemed happy with this and Joseph joined with David in running back and forth across the room and quoting from something. Then David pushed Joseph and quoted something, I can't recall the words he used but his meaning was clear - that this was his time. Ed took Joseph out of the room and David asked for the orange pumpkin puzzle, which I searched for, with no results. While we were in the closet he chose a book and sat and just turned the pages, with a glazed look on his face. I tried to get his attention several times but he was completely zoned out. I just lay beside him, watching his face, and tried to show him that I accept that he was taking some time for himself, and that I would be here if he should change his mind.

We were quiet for about 12 minutes, then he looked at me and asked for 'My first book of opposites' - please. It makes me giggle that he uses the whole title of the book. I read one page and then David told me the opposite. He especially liked the loud and quiet page. I acted out LOUD! by raising my voice, enough so that David jumped a little, and he laughed then he held up his finger and whispered quiet. Then he said HA! loudly and I pretended to jump. We played this back and forth numerous times.

Julie asked us how our time with David in the play room has impacted our lives. I would have to say that by accepting David the way he is now, and not for who he may become, is teaching me that I should also accept myself for who I am, I have a lot to learn in this area, that's for sure. I am able to leave all my anxieties at the door and just enjoy the spirit that David brings, he is like a breath of fresh air to my soul. He is the embodiment of hope. As I hope for all the good things in life for David, I realize that I too have choices that I can make, to make my life even more rewarding.

One thing I have never felt in David's presence is despair. He is a courageous little boy much like David in the Bible. He faced insurmountable odds against victory in defeating the giant, but with faith and obedience to God's word, David took that small stone and he did slay Goliath. I think it is no coincidence that David is named after this Bible hero, that even though the odds may be against him he will fight his giant called Autism, and he will have victory.

One Fish, Two Fish

We were celebrating Jessica and Michael's birthday tonight, and although it was not an official play date with David, it was still remarkable enough to note down. The family had been out of town for a week and Ed and I had been sick the following week, so some time had past since we had last seen David. Sometimes, it seems he needs a little time to accept change, so he will stay in the background when a new person arrives on the scene, but tonight he greeted us quickly, and was more than willing to give us hugs.

At one point he asked us to read him 'One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish' .. yes he does ask for it by it's whole title. I told him to go get the book and I would read it to him, he took a moment to think about it and then left. Within a few minutes he was back with the book and we clapped and praised him for bringing it to us. I was preparing to read it, when he pushed Ed further along the couch and then planted himself in between and faced us. He then proceeded to 'read' the book to us, looking at us as he said the words, and only looking away to turn the pages. We don't really know if he can read, but even if it is only said from memory, it is amazing. Not so much that he had said the words from the book, but from the total interaction he was giving us. Almost like he had set out to entertain us, or at least show us how clever he was that he could read it to us. I found a tear or two running down my cheek, as I thought back to that two year old boy who had such a love of being read to, and of him finishing the sentences as you read them. It was a little glimpse into the past and hopefully a good sign for the future.

When it came time to sing Happy Birthday and blow out the candles, David was right there singing along with us and helping blow out the candles. He was so excited, that we re-lit the candles and let him blow them out several times. This was the first time in many years that he had been so animated about a birthday. He was just so joyful tonight, I almost didn't want the night to end.

Hello Pluto have you seen Minnie?

Ed went to play with David on his own tonight. I will have him update this post with his own thoughts. We talked a little when he got home and he said that David asked mostly to be read to tonight. Ed was doing his Mickey Mouse impersonation (which is pretty good, I must say) haha! hello Pluto, have you seen Minnie? David thought this was hilarious and kept asking Ed to say it and then laughed loudly at it. By the end of the night David had started to mimic Ed.

I'll Save You

David showed us a different variation on the slide game tonight. David pushed up the slide with his legs then got up and ran before the slide dropped to the floor. I was lying on the floor at the time and David ran and threw himself at me in a big bear hug, I told him to hurry and held him close to me and told him "I'll save you" and then I screamed as the slide fell to floor with a resounding whack! David laughed loudly and went back under the slide to repeat the scenario. What a wonderful game, so many hugs and smiles from David. Every time he went under the slide, he would catch my eye to be sure I was watching. We probably played this game for an hour. Several times he would come to me and say in his little whispery voice "hurry, hurry, I'll save you, aaah. It was so cute and made us laugh hysterically.

Ed was counting fingers and toes with David, then after counting fingers and toes himself, David said "he has 11 .. this is something new". I don't know where that comes from (now that I think about it, it is probably from Dr Seuss) but at the time it seemed so random, that we couldn't help but laugh. Sweet, funny boy, we're so glad you are a part of our lives.

David said: I want a marshmallow please, I want a drink please, when he had finished his water bottle he said "how about some more water"